Because I told an entire roomful of people how he lost his virginity AND his real weight and he didn’t squash me like a bug. Which he TOTALLY COULD. But this year alone we celebrated Thanksgiving and Christmas together and slept in the same bed for an entire month so you can tell he has pushed his feelings of HULK FURY deep down inside where they will probably resurface when I’m bugging him to come out dancing at the leather daddy disco at 3 a.m. sometime.